


Wasteland, Baby

by altered_eagle



Series: City Goblins [21]
Category: Batman (Movies - Nolan), Batman - All Media Types
Genre: Alfred Pennyworth is a good dad, Angst, Batjokes, Bruce Wayne Feels, Caretaking, Gen, Hurt/Comfort, Injury, Joker (DCU) Whump, M/M, Medical, Morphine, Sickfic, The Babysitter's Club, fuckin' a
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-21
Updated: 2019-04-21
Packaged: 2020-01-23 07:21:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,572
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18544990
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/altered_eagle/pseuds/altered_eagle
Summary: The city hall was already in flames when Batman hauled him up from the basement and threw him onto the asphalt with enough force to send him skidding.He dropped his gun picked it up and scrambled to his feet only to keel over in a whirlwind of purple trenchcoat and tangled limbs.Bruce Wayne discovers the Joker has a new medical issue and copes the best he can.





	Wasteland, Baby

“Be still, my indelible friend

You are unbreaking

Though quaking

Though crazy

That's just wasteland, baby”

[ —Wasteland, Baby!: Hozier ](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU)

 

The city hall was already in flames when Batman hauled him up from the basement and threw him onto the asphalt with enough force to send him skidding. 

He dropped his gun picked it up and scrambled to his feet only to keel over in a whirlwind of purple trenchcoat and tangled limbs. Batman was able to take him down before he could stand again but the Joker always fought back with such furious strength that it took everything Batman had

just to keep a hold on him.

It was when Batman’s hand closed around the Joker’s throat that he felt it, through the hole in the first finger of his left glove.

 _Wait._ Batman pulled his glove off with his teeth and tucked his index and middle fingertips under the Joker’s jaw but the Joker shoved him hard

 _Let go,_ he snarled kicking his heels out against the dirt

 _Hang on._ Batman lowered his voice as he pressed down on the struggling body beneath him

but when the Joker wouldn’t quit Batman released him, dropping him to the ground and stepping as far back as he could _Stop,_ Batman ordered

as the Joker began to scrabble away dragging one leg _Stop,_ Batman repeated as he pressed the release on his mask. _Just stop,_  he pleaded and the Joker did stop then, he

froze, panting

and stood stock-still looking Wayne in the eye.

 _Come here for a second,_ Wayne said softly. The Joker did, although his firey eyes were narrowed in suspicion and one hand hovered above his pocket. _Can i check something?_ Wayne asked. The Joker looked at him, and sniffed the air like a dog, and must have scented nothing in Wayne but honest concern because a moment later he stepped forward.

Wayne reached slowly for the Joker’s cheek, rubbed his thumb across one high cheekbone for a moment before he moved towards the Joker’s ear. Pressed his fingertips against the Joker’s jugular again, felt the Joker’s pulse stuttering against them before it caught and seemed to restart again.

 _Your heartbeat isn’t right._ Wayne checked again, felt the flutter again. _It’s irregular. Can. Can you even feel that?_ The Joker rolled his eyes.

_Sometimes…_

_Sometimes._ Wayne frowned, and skimmed his hand down the Joker’s chest following the gold chain that held the Joker’s ring. _I’ve never noticed anything wrong with your heart before. How long has this been going on._ The Joker shrugged.

 _A while,_ he said vaguely looking somewhere over Wayne’s shoulder. _It’s more noticeable when i exert myself. Hey didn’t you tell the commissioner you’ve have me to him in five?_

 _Christ._ Wayne scrubbed his fingers over his face felt sweat and grit scrub across his skin _i...oh, gosh._

 _You know you’re really upset when you don’t swear_ , the Joker remarked. _Should i just go, or_

 _No!_ Wayne barked, and the Joker raised his painted eyebrows sending a thin line of blood down the center of his right eyelid. _Sorry,_ Wayne sighed closed his eyes as a hundred different scenarios flooded his brain but he kept coming up dry _Joker i’m sorry. Just let me think._

 _Neither of us have time for that Bruce Wayne,_ the Joker snapped, straightening his tie with twitching fingers. _If you don’t tell me what you want me to do in the next sixty seconds i’m outta here_

 _With that ankle?_ Wayne laughed hollowly. The Joker’s eyes flashed.

_i could keep you busy until your friends show up, then you’d have no choice._

_Oh for god’s sake_ , Wayne huffed. He jammed his cowl back over his head

grabbed the Joker’s hand in his

and helped him hobble towards the car.

 

The commissioner’s name and number came across the screen again, and the Joker chuckled roughly.

_You’re in for it now._

_Shut up,_ Wayne growled, and let his phone ring,

and drove on.

 

* * *

 

 _So you’ve had an arrythmia for three. Fucking. Months and you didn’t think to let me know._ Wayne dropped to the chair at the bedside and took in the Joker again

scrubbed clean wired up and tethered to an IV, with his right ankle in a cast and his eyes misted over from opiate fog. The Joker had told Alfred that his pain level was at a three. The x-ray showed that his foot was broken in two places.

 _Over the years i’ve taken enough medications that list arrhythmia as a side effect,_ the Joker said breaking Wayne out of his thoughts. _It’s not surprising._

 _Over the years..._ Wayne glanced at the EKG readings again, shook his head. _Your doctor isn’t keeping an eye on your meds is he. For chrissakes you’re barely thirty._

 _And you’re pushing forty with more sports injuries than a friggin' pro football player Bruce, what’s your point_. The Joker slumped back against the bed, picked at an electrode on his bare chest.

 _Stop that._ Wayne took the Joker’s hand away and didn’t let go. The other man’s face had begun to take on a gray tinge that Wayne had seen before, and it didn’t bode well.

He hadn’t wanted to give the Joker opiates considering the hefty dose he required and the stubborn nausea that resulted, but halfway through setting his foot the Joker bit clean through his lip so Wayne had pushed both morphine and zofran into his IV port. It had taken four stitches to close his lip.

Now the Joker’s pain was under control but he was looking rough.

 _How’s your stomach holding up?_ Wayne asked.

 _It’s been better._ The Joker shrugged. _Been worse too._ Wayne ran his fingers through the Joker's hair.

 _You just have to hang in there for another hour, then we can try a different antinauseant._ The Joker cracked one eye and gave Wayne a thumbs up. Wayne smiled, took the styrofoam cup of water and bumped the straw against the Joker’s chin. The clown only took a sip before he was scowling and twisting his head away. Wayne reached for the cardboard basin on the table just in case, but after a minute the Joker sank back slack and exhausted gazing at Wayne with such blind drugged adoration that Wayne was suddenly

a breath away from tears. He forced them back as he climbed carefully onto the bed and guided the Joker to lean into him.

 _It’s not too bad_ , the Joker mumbled against Wayne’s throat. _Not so long as you’re here._

 

Eventually Wayne got the Joker settled and tucked him in and stayed with him until he fell asleep

while Wayne rubbed his back. It was long past midnight when Wayne softly closed the infirmary door and leaned up against it to speak with his butler.

 _His heart’s still off_ , Wayne sighed. _It looks like an a-fib to me. And his pain’s okay but of course the morphine made him nauseous—God, sometimes i get tired of seeing him like this._

 _His rhythm abnormalities are fairly minor compared to some i’ve seen,_ Alfred told him. _There are medications that he can both take and stop taking to help correct the problem._

 _i still can’t fix this for him, Alfred._ Wayne started to pace without really realizing it _All we can do is keep him here under observation and play around with his meds, see if that helps...then once he goes back i can’t force his doctors to change his regimen or even take a look at his chart for chrissakes, i can’t just barge in there, i’ve already raised enough suspicion in Gordon and lord only knows how that mess is going to fucking turn out_ Alfred gave Wayne A Look so he stopped, unclenched his fists and breathed out through his nose anger still pulsed hard and fast through his veins before it snapped

and all Wayne felt in its wake was grief.

 _Alfred..._ Wayne swallowed hard. _Sometimes i wonder how much more he’ll be able to take._

 _He’s taken it all very well so far,_ Alfred replied. _He chose this life, Master Bruce. He’ll continue to push his limits, and you’ll continue to mop up after him when he goes too far._ He laid one hand on Wayne’s shoulder. He was smiling though it did not erase the sadness in his eyes.

 

Wayne had to look away.

 

He didn’t brush off Alfred’s arms when they wrapped around him.

 _i never meant for this to happen_ , Wayne mumbled as he drew back. _Any of it._ His butler smiled again,

and the sadness had dissipated. _We rarely mean for people to come into our lives_ , he pointed out. _Yet_ _we are. And when it comes to him_ (Alfred tilted his head towards the infirmary door) _it’ll be easier to focus on what you_ **_can_ ** _do for him, as opposed to what you can’t._ The old man stood there looking so tired and warm and kind that

Wayne’s throat grew suddenly tight. He couldn’t speak anymore. All he could do was nod,

 

and go back into the infirmary.

All he could do was insist that the Joker stay hooked up to the machine overnight, and to the IV in his wrist.

All he could do was stay in the chair at the Joker’s side, and

change out the ice pack on his ankle, and

follow him to the bathroom and back, like a dog in a thunderstorm.  

  


**Author's Note:**

> Please listen to the title song: [Wasteland, Baby!: Hozier](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=N4rKN_qW5DU)


End file.
